SINGAPORE — A Singaporean couple hoping to start a family has reportedly postponed trying for a baby after discovering their shared Google Calendar has no mutually available 10-minute slot for hey-sho hey-sho until February 2034.
The couple, identified only as Darren and Michelle, said they had originally intended to "see how things go naturally" before realising every evening for the next eight years had already been blocked out.
Calendar entries included "Gym," "Meal Prep," "Strategic Networking Dinner," "Parents' Birthday," "Friends' Birthday," "Colleague Leaving Dinner," "Company D&D," "Team Building," "Weekend JB Trip," "Recover From Weekend JB Trip," and "Watch Netflix Before It Expires."
"It wasn't that we didn't want children," explained Michelle while colour-coding another recurring meeting.
"We just couldn't find a suitable slot."
Relationship experts say the phenomenon is becoming increasingly common among young professionals.
"Couples no longer ask, 'Are you in the mood?'" explained family therapist Dr. Anak bte Banyak.
"They ask, 'Have you checked my Outlook cal?’”
The Ministry of Social and Family Development declined to comment on the specific case but acknowledged that modern lifestyles can make family planning difficult.
Google, however, announced it was exploring new AI-powered features to address the issue.
Industry observers remain sceptical.
"If your AI has to negotiate with HR, your parents, your gym trainer, your tuition side hustle, your church committee, your friends planning a Bali trip, and your boss who thinks 9:00 pm is still office hours," said one software engineer, "we're going to need Artificial General Intelligence just to have sex."
At press time, the couple had managed to free up a 15-minute slot next Tuesday, but Michelle fell asleep early and did not respond to Darren.
“Alamak”, said Darren. “She’s on mute.”