SINGAPORE — The Workers' Party has reportedly begun exploring the therapeutic benefits of the now-viral Brazilian Water Bath, after social media users claimed it possesses the miraculous ability to reset one's "body count" back to zero.
Party leaders say they were initially sceptical until discovering the ritual's little-known secondary feature: the complete removal of all past political misdeeds.
"Raeesah Khan, Nicole+Leon, Aljunied-Hougang financial mismanagement...and some say even the JBJ sabotage can be washed away!" said party spokesperson Mr. Abdul Tukul. "The evidence is overwhelming. Once the water touches your forehead, everything before that moment no longer counts."
According to the party, the discovery could save thousands of dollars in legal fees and years of reputation management.
The party has since disbanded its internal disciplinary committee, replacing it with a single ceremonial coconut shell and a man named Paulo, who has been flown in from Brazil and introduced as the party's new Chief Spiritual Compliance Officer.
Sources say party volunteers have begun organising weekly "Reset Saturdays", where members queue patiently to have their political histories rinsed away alongside flower petals and positive affirmations.
The discovery has sparked interest across Singapore.
The Singapore Traffic Police are reportedly studying whether demerit points can similarly be washed away.
Several secondary school students have already attempted to reset their PSLE results despite graduating years ago.
One insurance agent reportedly emerged from the ceremony insisting he had "never sold an ILP in his life."
A property agent claimed all listings had instantly become "within walking distance."
At press time, political parties across the aisle were reportedly enquiring whether the Brazilian Water Bath also works on election promises, embarrassing campaign videos and old Facebook posts.
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