SINGAPORE — What began as a harmless quest to sample Singapore's famous pandan cake ended in what witnesses described as "the longest 12 seconds of silence ever recorded" after an Australian tourist repeatedly asked a bakery cashier for a "pondan cake."
"I've heard Singapore is famous for your... pondan?" said 34-year-old David Mitchell, enunciating every syllable with the confidence of a man who had spent five minutes on Duolingo.
The cashier reportedly froze mid-transaction before quietly replying, "Excuse me Sir?!?"
Mitchell, believing he had simply not spoken loudly enough, leaned closer and repeated, "Your Pondan. I want your Pondan."
At this point, the auntie behind him abandoned her queue number and slowly backed towards the exit.
"I wanted to help," said bakery assistant Goyang bte Goyang. "But I also wanted to see how this would end."
Eyewitnesses say the bakery descended into complete chaos.
The situation escalated when Mitchell pointed enthusiastically at the green sponge cake behind the glass cabinet and exclaimed, "Yes! That's the pondan!"
"Wah lau malu sial...," said customer Tan Ah Beng.
The bakery manager eventually intervened by presenting Mitchell with a laminated card reading:
"Sir, it's pronounced PAN-DAN."
Underneath, in bold red letters, were the words:
"PLEASE DO NOT MISS ONE LETTER."
Mitchell eventually left with a pandan chiffon cake and no understanding whatsoever of why the entire bakery applauded as he walked out.
"The cake is delicious...by the way, do you know the directions to Changi Beach?" he said. "I heard they have Pandan there too!"