SINGAPORE - Scientists have admitted they remain no closer to solving one of Singapore's greatest mysteries: why almost every retired Mediacorp artiste eventually develops an overwhelming desire to open a restaurant.
The phenomenon, officially classified as Spontaneous Bistro Conversion (SBC), has puzzled researchers for decades.
The latest findings were published by the Performing Arts Association (PAA), Singapore's professional association for the study of retired television personalities. Leading the research is Professor Sean Siow, who says he has observed the condition for years.
"We've ruled out financial incentives, personal passion and coincidence," Professor Seow explained. "There appears to be an invisible force that compels former actors towards café ownership. We simply don't know what it is."
The PAA tracked 237 retired television personalities over the course of ten years. Within five years of leaving show business, 94% had opened a café, restaurant, bubble tea shop, bakery or hotpot establishment. The remaining 6% reportedly said they were "currently exploring concepts" and were "in discussions with investors."
Researchers found the symptoms begin subtly.
"It usually starts with posting photographs of latte art," Professor Seow said. "Then comes a trip to Melbourne 'for inspiration'. Before long they're discussing artisanal sourdough, single-origin coffee beans and announcing a soft launch."
Despite decades of research, Professor Seow admits the mystery remains unsolved.
"We've accepted there are some forces in nature that mankind simply cannot explain," he sighed. "Gravity. Dark matter. And the irresistible urge for retired TV stars to sell truffle fries."
#satire
#singapore
#mediacorp